| JOANRIVERS | Comic who said "Roman Polanski, in college, he didn't have a major. He only had minors" |
| ADAM | A mother. He didn't have a father (4) |
| STALKYANDCO | Rudyard Kipling novel based on the college he attended in Devon |
| THEMASTERS | Rory McIlroy won this golf tournament for the first time on April 13; it was the sport's only major he hadn't won |
| ROOMER | Polanski, in The (uber-creepy) Tenant, played one. |
| GLITCH | Leaders of group left in this county had minor mishap (6) |
| SCUFFLED | Rearranged cards, switching hearts to clubs and had minor row |
| BOBHOPE | Comic who said "Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong" |
| ELAYNEBOOSLER | Comic who said "Men are very strange. When they wake up in the morning, they want things like toast. I don't have those recipes" |
| LOUISCK | Comic who said "I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go 'Ugh'" |
| NOVICE | He's only a beginner and he hasn't a sin to his name! |
| OFHISLIFE | Groucho Marx as S. Quentin Quale in Go West said, "I'd have thrashed him to within an inch ..., but I didn't have a tape measure" (2,3,4) |
| TAPE | Groucho Marx as S. Quentin Quale in Go West said, "I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a ... measure" |
| TYSON | Boxer who said: "Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent" (5) |
| LENDMEYOUREARS | Mark Antony's request to the farmer when he realized he didn't have enough corn for the cookout? |
| JOHNMULANEY | Comic who said "I'm like an iPhone, it's going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason." |
| RUDNER | Comic who said "I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." |
| SAHL | Comic who said "I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically" |
| EMERALD | How precious! In a way he's only a mere lad! |
| ANNOY | "Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes; He only does it to ... , Because he |
